“But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life.”~ [Gen 45:5 (NKJV)]
✍️After the butler was released, Joseph spent two more years in prison.
✍️The butler remembered about Joseph when the Pharaoh had a couple of strange dreams. He told Pharaoh how Joseph had interpreted his dream and the baker’s.
✍️Joseph did not claim he was the one interpreting dreams, but glorified God instead: “It is not in me; God will give Pharaoh an answer of peace.”~(Genesis 41:16)
✍️In addition to interpreting the dream (7 years of abundance followed by 7 years of famine), he suggested a plan to overcome the 7 years of famine.
✍️Pharaoh promoted him to first minister and married him to Aseneth. They had two children: Manasseh and Ephraim.
✍️The story of Joseph does not end with his success as the first minister of Egypt.
✍️Joseph had to face his past during the first year of famine. His brothers came to him. The circumstances were entirely different to the last time they had met.
✍️He could choose between punishment or forgiveness. What would he do and why?
🩸Has anything changed?
🩸Have they repented?
🩸Should I forgive them?
🩸Who should take the first step?
🩸What happens next?
👉A. Has anything changed?
📖“We are all one man’s sons; we are honest men; your servants are not spies.””— Gen 42:11 (NKJV)
❖ Had they treated Benjamin the same way they treated him? Were they taking care of their old father?
❖ Caring for the weak and the defenseless was one of the biblical principles Joseph had embraced (Exodus 22:21-23; Leviticus 19:14, 32).
❖ Abuse within the family is one of the most serious, because it is usually kept quiet. No physical, sexual, or emotional abuse can be tolerated.
❖ Fortunately, his father and his brother were fine (Genesis 42:13). The situation had changed.
👉B. Have they repented?
📖“Then they said to one another, “We are truly guilty concerning our brother, for we saw the anguish of his soul when he pleaded with us, and we would not hear; therefore this distress has come upon us.””— Gen 42:21 (NKJV)
❖ Joseph had already forgiven his brothers. This story would have been hugely different if he had chosen hate and resentment instead.
❖ However, he did not want to restore his family relationship if there was a risk of being abused by his brothers again.
❖ His brothers did not know that Joseph could understand their language, so they spoke openly and showed their remorse. 21 years of remorse!
❖ Joseph was convinced after some other tests. He showed favoritism towards Benjamin, but his brothers did not show jealousy or envy, but protected Benjamin (Genesis 43:34; 44:33-34).
👉C. Should I forgive them?
📖“Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”— Mat 18:21 (NKJV)
❖ What if Joseph’s brothers had not repented or changed at all? Should he have forgiven them?
❖ Genuine forgiveness involves forgiving others even if they do not deserve it. God’s forgiving love is unconditional, even when we do not deserve it.
❖ We forgive because God has forgiven us (Romans 4:7). When we forgive others, our bitterness goes away. The past is left behind, and we can go on with love and acceptance.
👉D. Who should take the first step?
📖 “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.—Luke 6:27-28 (NKJV)
❖ When we are hurt by others, some wounds may be devastating. We may feel shattered, embittered, and angry.
❖ Should I keep that hate and bitterness until the offender asks for forgiveness? I am the one
who must decide whether to forgive or not.
❖ We can share our anger with God. We can even ask Him to avenge the offense
(Psalm 59:12-13; 69:23-24). Once we have taken our resentment to God, there is only one way ahead: forgiveness.
❖ Jesus is the ultimate example. On the cross, he asked God to forgive his executioners:
“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” (Luke 23:34).
👉E. What happens next?
📖“But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.”
— Gen 50:20 (NKJV)
❖ Finally, Joseph’s family was reconciled (Genesis 46:29). Although everything looked perfect, there were some wounds that had not heal completely.
❖ After Jacob died, Joseph’s brothers felt remorse and fear again. Had Joseph’s forgiveness
been genuine (Genesis 50:15)?
❖ Joseph’s forgiveness was not based on his feelings, but on his principles. He forgave them as God had forgiven him. He had understood God’s plan for him (Genesis 50:50). There is no place for resentment in God’s plan for us.
COMMENT:👇
“The compassion that God manifests toward us, He bids us manifest toward others. Let the impulsive, the selfsufficient, the revengeful, behold the meek and lowly One, led as a lamb to the slaughter, unretaliating as a sheep dumb before her shearers. Let them look upon Him whom our sins have pierced and our sorrows burdened, and they will learn to endure, to forbear, and to forgive.” ~E.G.W.(Education,cp.30, p.257).
10 Talking Points on the Lesson: Rest, Relationships, and Healing
1. The family and life of Joseph was used as a case study to show how God repairs dysfunctional families. It continues to be used for this week’s lesson to practically demonstrate how healing from family feuds and scabs can take place. Four healing processes are derived, without meaning to portray these processes as absolute.
2. During the seven years of famine as predicted by Joseph based on Pharoah’s dream, his brothers showed up in Egypt to buy food. Joseph recognised them and remembered the painful past, but quickly saw the fulfilment of his dreams and how God ‘sent him ahead’ (Gen 45 v.5) to slavery so that he could save Egypt, the Canaanites and his family from famine (Gen 42 v.6; 50 v.20).
3. Healing process 1: Face your painful past. The story of Joseph reveals the need to face (instead of suppress) our painful past to rise above anger, resentment and bitterness. Is it always possible to handle the past family feuds and scabs, sexual abuse and physical violence, with tenderness and mercy like Jesus Christ?
4. After surveying his brothers, Joseph noted the absence of Benjamin. He wondered if he, like him, had fallen victim to their cruelty. He then devised a trick of labelling them as spies unless they prove they are not by bringing Benjamin. They blamed all that was happening to having killed Joseph. Upon realising their remorse for selling him, Joseph wept.
5. Healing process 2: Acknowledge your pain and hurt. Often, people advise those hurting to ‘avoid thinking about it’ or ‘get over it’. To heal, it is necessary to go through the doorway of grief and weeping, like Joseph did. Avoidance can increase the pain or hurt instead. If wounds are deep, forgiveness may need to be reasserted many times.
6. Joseph could have been revengeful to his brothers as well as to Mr and Mrs Potiphar. He could have also decided to have them ask for his forgiveness. However, he made a deliberate decision to forgive them even if they had not asked for forgiveness, like what Jesus did at the cross (Luke 23 v.34).
7. Healing process 3: Choose to forgive. Typically, we expect offenders to ask for forgiveness ahead of forgiving them. Instead, we need to forgive for our own sake even against our emotions or without the offender asking for our forgiveness. This is possible if we first experience God’s forgiveness.
8. After seeing the fruits of repentance from his brothers, Joseph finally revealed himself to them. The brothers went to confess their long hid deceit to their father. In humiliation, they told him that Joseph is alive and is the governor in Egypt. They then packed and went to live with Joseph in Egypt, with relations among siblings remaining dicey (Gen 50 v.15-21).
9. Healing process 4: Forgiveness very often, but not always, restores relationships. Where it is possible to restore relations, then that option may be prioritised and pursued. Forgiving an offender should never be equated to restoring perfect relations. It seems Joseph did not play lovey-dovey to an extent that his brothers felt like if their father dies, Joseph will revenge.
10. Forgiveness to those who created a painful past within our families creates rest for the restless human hearts, and may restore fractured relationships. The greater picture is that the devil cannot destroy God’s purpose for a life consecrated to Him, in spite of the painful past. Rest in God, the custodian of the bigger picture. Next week we study about being free to rest.
May God richly bless you…
By Washington